Thank you so much for reaching out to the world’s premiere mustache advocacy organization. We look forward to working with you and supporting you in any way we can.
The American Mustache Institute
As a supporter of the American Mustache Institute, I pledge to:
• Lobby the administration of President Barack Obama, asking him to grow a mustache during his first term to demonstrate solidarity with people of Mustached American descent.
• Applaud any Mustached American as they walk past me on the street.
• Castigate clean shaven mortals and remind them that their bare-lipped appearance is a sign of weakness and communism.
• Dislike all things associated with Dave Navarro.
• Continue my mustache growth in the extremely rare case that it causes significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large.
• Never own a cat or watch “Sex And The City.”
• Discriminate only against those with chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as those forms of facial hair represent the “spousal compromise.”
• Distrust clean-shaven officers of the law, and if approached by a mustache-free constable, dial 911 and proceed to a nearby police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet me with open arms.
• Consider the environment before shaving my mustache.
• Never forget that every time a mustache is shaved an angel in heaven dies and falls to earth.
AMI Disclaimer: AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. While the vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers, mustaches should be worn at your own risk, understanding that AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a “Dictator” mustache may lead to repeated beatings, and women are encouraged to avoid wearing mustaches if looking for male companionship or hoping to find employment outside of waste collection. If a mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Consult a physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression.
*This was NOT sent from a Blackberry, as mustached Americans neither own, nor have the ability, to operate Blackberrys.
——– Original Message ——–
Subject: COMANDO MUSTACHE
From: Diego Marques da Rocha <email@example.com>
Date: Sat, April 25, 2009 2:01 pm
We found your site by accident and feel we have a lot in common.I represent an assossiation of friends and simphatizers of the mustache called COMANDO MUSTACHE here in Brasil. In fact mustache here is used mainly by mid-aged men not by young people.
What we do since 2005 is we let our beard grow for aproximatly a month and in the pre defined date we show up with our mustache at work and places we go in that day. It´s very nice to recieve reaction from people that we know and are not used to see us like this, making us very poud of our mustaches.After that we go out to have lunch in a fomous ” churrascaria ” ( STAKEHOUSE ) to , as we say ” Engraixar os bigodes” ( GREASE OUR MUSTACHES ).
The next event will envolve a lot of people and will take place on june 5 ( one day before the celebration of the 65th anniversary of the ” D ” day ). We shall call it THE ” M ” DAY – VETERANS MUSTACHE DAY.
We will be poud to be affiliated with you american fellows in such noble cause – THE MUSTACHE. How can we proceed. PLEASE, CHECK OUR BLOG . https://comandomustache.wordpress.com/ .